•12:51 PM
LANA:

Ha! I keep writing my name at the top to let you know it's me writing every time... DH means to write - he has a lot to say - but he's been so awfully busy that he just hasn't been able to chime in. He will, though! So one of these days you'll see a big ol' DH at the beginning instead, I promise.

So yep. The answer is yes. The winds of change are strong and events have been set in motion. We won't be here much longer.

One thing that I used to do, and I still am tempted to do it, is to protect God while He works. I kept secrets. I only gave out information to people tentatively as I became more sure of His direction and answered prayers. So that, you know, if perhaps I interpreted something wrong, or if it seemed He let us down, it would be just between me and Him, and I wouldn't have made Him look bad.

As if He ever needed me to do that.

I'm growing in faith; I don't want to keep secrets anymore, because it might be these very nuances and developments He wants to touch others through. I can be transparent, and leave the rest to Him. Probably He can take care of Himself, hm?

So I will put plainly, in bullet points, the reasons I know our prayers about moving soon have been heard and answered with a 'Yes'. And I do still believe this will be a road that leads to Paris.

  • Two very good friends and co-workers of DH's are leaving the kitchen for different jobs within a 4-week period. This is something that does matter very much to DH in terms of making his workplace a positive and constructive place to be.
  • A friend I haven't seen in nearly 10 years 'popped up' in the Portland area about 2 weeks ago. 
  • This friend, ironically, has recently become a culinary student.
  • This friend, absurdly, knew of an open position for an instructor at her culinary institute.
  • The cover letter DH immediately set out to write to accompany his resume reflects him and his heart to teach perfectly. I put together all the right 'power terms' and 'action phrases' together for him to use, but what he wrote himself was inspired. I would underline that 7 times if I could.
  • Expectancy. There is a certainty and anticipation to these events. They build on each other. There is a purpose that is tangible. This is how I felt the night before we sold our house. I had been happy and excited for previous 'lookers', but it was completely different with the last couple. There was the same jitters and urge to get prepared as I feel today.

Whatever this culminates in, these are surges forward. The great part about knowing when it's a prayed-for event, is that hesitation and doubt goes out the window. If DH is invited out for an interview, he won't think twice.

We've already saved for the plane ticket.
•12:58 PM
LANA:

As we've now been bringing our question to God of whether Paris should happen or not, it's kind of interesting to me that DH and I are both in a dramatically heightened state of unrest. We are not feeling more pacified with the idea of a long, drawn-out savings plan for school, but exactly the opposite. It feels like a fire has been lit under our bums. We're getting extremely antsy.

I came across this blog today by a Detroit Lakes man living abroad in China and I can't even read past the first page for how it twists me up inside with urgency. It reminds me of how much we're missing each and every day while there is so much outside of the Midwest we want to be a part of and learn, and it feels quite simply like we are wasting precious time. It reaffirmed to me that our need to leave (not just for DH's baking and pastry program, but permanently relocating to Seattle or Portland afterward) isn't a wishful dream; it's a sense of purpose that it's frustrating to delay longer than we already have.

I also met with a couple a few days ago who prospectively want to live in these townhomes. Through their eyes, it was a spacious, homey complex with sunlight and windows galore and a wide-open grassy yard, plus a swimming beach only a few blocks away. They said they want to start and grow their family here. This reminded me that there is really nothing wrong with where we live. For some people, living in this town, even at this address, is what they envision when they plan their future, and it makes them happy. I don't know why, but this is not us.

I realized it ultimately comes down to two things: DH has gone about as far as he can go with his profession and food education here and he still wants to be better and have access to more styles and ingredients. Similarly, we do not have a real home yet, and we want to get on finding it that, too. God is allowing these things to continue to chafe on us, prodding us to near desperation to make something happen soon.

It's not the most pleasing feeling to go about the day with, but desperation begets more prayer and more ideas, and these beget action, which likely results in change. Boy, I could use some change right now!

One note I can make is that DH and I admitted to each other that we have both started thinking about the idea of moving to the West Coast before going abroad, as there is likely more springboards and networking opportunities that could make Paris a feasible reality sooner.

It is a step.

It could very likely be an answer to prayer.